everytime i seem to get close get pushed back like 3 fuckin feet. everytime i do my best i fall flat on my face, everytime i do good somthing bad comes right along with it. why why why why fuckin me.... i work so hard for the things in life,i do my best to plz everyone even thou am not plz. i take care of everything that am ask to do. BUT YET ITS NEVER GOOD... yet i always fall back. there times in my life that i act to be someone am not there times in my life wen i play the little games taht ppl play with me but yet thats not me, i feel bad for the things that i did and i just see ppl brush it off as it never happen. i see so many fake ppl and i cant tel lthm right away that there fake. but yet i fall for it and am the one to get hurt ? why is that why am i the one to fall falt on my face? why am i the one that alwas seems to get hurt? there so many things i want in life there so many things i wanna do but yet i dont know how to say no to others and i always put others befor my slef and i get a slap in the face? why thats all i can ever thinks about is why? why ? why i get fucked over not once but more then that somtimes by the same ppl.. other then all this bullshit life has been alright again am standing on my two feet and i been just wroking take care of the things that ihave to take care of such as my mother and the bills around here, i work so hard to do and plz my family and dont get me wrong there plz but i am not. i now ican do better then wat am doing right now i know i can be somting that i can be i just have not yet found wat it was or wat it is to find. there so many changes that i have made in my life and there so many things that i have done or is doing that i never thought of doing or that it whould get done. i know i hurted so many ppl but THINGS HAPPEN FOR A RESON so i been told! just wating to see wat is that resons for hurting them. firends so i patched things up wiht a lot of ppl the others i just for got cuz it takes two to make it work out. i met a new freind her name is cathy. one of the best and i mean best friends that i have ever meet. she and i is going to work out as best of best firends she thought me so much and showed me things that i didnt think of doing or eer thought of doing. she is the best person that one should know. love ya gurl family MOTHER is doing ok for now and every day is a day of happies and a day to spend with her.i love her to deth and ill bent over and brake my back for her. i lean so much that i can do and i know there is so much more that i can do. lately we been just spending hella time with one another and going out and shoping the other day i spent like 200 on food for the house and last time i just spend like 150 so there planty now lol its so funny thou czu i nver thought of doing the food shoping lol or paying bills. so alot has been going on my brother also gave me his 300zx cool huh its for sale by the way 8500 obo let me know WELL AM OUT OF THIS SHIT OFF TO TAKE A SHOWER THEN WORK stay up stay brown.. cuz big jay is alwys going to be around LOL | 
